Well I’ve been afraid of changing
‘cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older,
I’m getting older too.
(Landslide, Stevie Nicks)
I’ve heard this song countless times since I grew up in the 70s, but in the last year, these lyrics resonated with me for reasons I didn’t comprehend. Yes, I was getting older (and yes, those are gray hairs.) And yes, the Lord was leading me to quit my decade-long gig of homeschooling which really did feel like a life encircled by my children–all day, everyday. But there was more to it.
As much as I needed change to shake me from the burnout I was living, I was afraid of changing. I can see that now. Now that I have changed.
Something happened after I turned forty a few years back. My perspective became clearer. And there were things I saw that I didn’t like. Things in myself. Things in my life.
There were dreams drying with the dishes. And I knew I didn’t want to face the same life, the same me in the mirror when fifty rolls around.
Maybe it’s the stuff midlife crises are made of, except it didn’t involve the usual sordid details. And it won’t. I’m crazy in love with my husband and these half dozen blessings.
But I felt brave for the first time in decades. Ready for something else. Ready to take the blind leaps of faith that would usher in change. It was exhilarating, really.
It reminds me of the “I-can-conquer-the-world” college graduate I was back in the 90s. The ideals were big and the means were small, but that didn’t stop me. In fact, it started me.
So mamas, I say all this so that you won’t fear the future. Embrace new seasons. Try new things. Don’t be afraid to chase after a dream or to pick up the one God places on your path. It might seem impossible or crazy or risky, but be bold with the life you’ve been blessed with. God loves to do new things with his girls. Listen for His voice guiding you, uniquely laying out a path for you. Sure, it might be mocked or even scorned by those who fear change, but small minds just do that.Don’t let it deter you. God is in the business of bold, big dreams. Keep your eyes on Him.